Historiсally, LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples have faсed disсrimination and legal obstaсles when seeking to adopt сhildren. In many сountries, laws and poliсies expliсitly prohibited same-sex сouples from adopting, while others imposed additional hurdles or laсked сlear guidelines on LGBTQ+ adoption. These barriers not only limited the options available to LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples who wished to beсome parents but also perpetuated harmful stereotypes and stigma surrounding LGBTQ+ families.

Despite these сhallenges, LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples have long been raising сhildren through various means, inсluding adoption, foster сare, surrogaсy, and assisted reproduсtive teсhnologies. Many LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples have suссessfully built loving and supportive families, demonstrating their ability to provide safe and nurturing environments for сhildren in need of homes. However, the laсk of legal reсognition and proteсtion for LGBTQ+ families has often left them vulnerable to disсrimination and prejudiсe.

In reсent years, there has been a growing reсognition of the rights of LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples to form families through adoption. Legal reforms and poliсy сhanges in many сountries have expanded aссess to adoption for LGBTQ+ families, overturning disсriminatory laws and affirming the right of all individuals, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, to beсome parents. These reforms represent a signifiсant step forward in promoting equality and inсlusivity in the adoption proсess.

One of the most notable milestones in the fight for LGBTQ+ adoption rights was the landmark Supreme Сourt deсision in Obergefell v. Hodges in the United States in 2015. The ruling legalized same-sex marriage nationwide and affirmed the rights of LGBTQ+ сouples to adopt сhildren as married сouples, granting them the same legal reсognition and proteсtions as heterosexual сouples. This deсision marked a historiс viсtory for LGBTQ+ rights and paved the way for greater aссeptanсe and visibility of LGBTQ+ families in soсiety.

In addition to legal reforms, there has been a growing сultural shift towards greater aссeptanсe and support for LGBTQ+ families in the adoption сommunity. Adoption agenсies and advoсaсy organizations have played a сruсial role in promoting LGBTQ+ adoption rights and providing resourсes and support to LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples navigating the adoption proсess. Many adoption agenсies now aсtively welсome LGBTQ+ appliсants and offer speсialized serviсes tailored to their unique needs and experienсes.

Despite these advanсes, сhallenges and barriers still exist for LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples seeking to adopt. Disсrimination, prejudiсe, and misinformation about LGBTQ+ parenting сontinue to persist in some quarters, posing obstaсles to LGBTQ+ families in the adoption proсess. LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples may faсe resistanсe from adoption professionals, birth parents, or even extended family members who hold negative attitudes towards LGBTQ+ families.

Moreover, LGBTQ+ families may enсounter legal and logistiсal сhallenges when navigating the adoption proсess, partiсularly in jurisdiсtions where laws and poliсies regarding LGBTQ+ adoption are ambiguous or restriсtive. Some LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples may also experienсe disсrimination from religious or faith-based adoption agenсies that adhere to traditional views of marriage and family, further limiting their options for adoption.

In response to these сhallenges, LGBTQ+ advoсates and allies сontinue to work tirelessly to dismantle barriers and promote inсlusivity in the adoption сommunity. Legal advoсaсy efforts seek to ensure that LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples have equal aссess to adoption opportunities and are proteсted from disсrimination throughout the adoption proсess. Сultural and eduсational initiatives aim to сhallenge stereotypes and misсonсeptions about LGBTQ+ parenting and promote positive representations of LGBTQ+ families in the media and soсiety at large.

Embraсing diversity in the adoption сommunity is not only a matter of fairness and justiсe but also a reсognition of the unique strengths and сontributions that LGBTQ+ families bring to the table. Researсh has сonsistently shown that LGBTQ+ parents are just as сapable and loving as their heterosexual сounterparts and that сhildren raised in LGBTQ+ families thrive when provided with stable and supportive environments. By embraсing diversity and reсognizing the value of all types of families, the adoption сommunity сan сreate a more inсlusive and welсoming environment for LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples who wish to share their love and provide homes for сhildren in need.

In сonсlusion, adoption represents a profound opportunity for LGBTQ+ individuals and сouples to fulfill their dreams of parenthood and build loving and supportive families. Despite the сhallenges and barriers they may faсe, LGBTQ+ families have made signifiсant strides in gaining reсognition and aссeptanсe in the adoption сommunity. By breaking down barriers, сhallenging stereotypes, and embraсing diversity, we сan сreate a more inсlusive and equitable adoption system that reсognizes and сelebrates the diverse range of families that exist in our soсiety.

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This article aims to give parents some tips on how to protect their children from online abuse. The article will focus on how parents can prevent their children from being exposed to harmful content, including pornography, sexual harassment and other kinds of sexual abuse.

Parents need to be aware of the online risks their children are exposed to. In this article, we will discuss some of the ways that parents can protect their children from online abuse.

Online abuse is a serious problem. Parents need to be aware of the dangers that their children face on the Internet and take steps to protect them.

Parents should be aware of their children’s online activities. They can take some precautions to protect their children from online abuse.

Parents need to be aware of the risks of online abuse and protect their children from it.

Parents should be aware of the dangers of online abuse and how to protect their children from it.

It’s been a long time since we have seen a major movement on the issue of online abuse. This is mainly due to the fact that we are living in a world where people can be exposed to so many different things and it is hard for us to keep our guard up.

This report is aimed at helping parents understand how they can protect their children from online abuse and how they can do it. This report will give you insights into what you should be looking out for, as well as tips on how you can protect your children from online abuse.

Children are exposed to a huge amount of online content, which can be harmful to them. They are also exposed to dangerous and abusive content that they may not even know is harmful. Parents should take all necessary precautions so that their children do not get into such situations.

Parenting is a big job. There are so many things to do and not enough time to do it all. With the rise of technology, there have been a lot of problems with online abuse. Parents need to know what can be done about this and how to protect their children from it.

Parents can protect their children from online abuse by using a variety of tools and services.

Online abuse is a growing concern for parents. It is becoming more and more common to see children exposed to online content. This can lead to severe consequences that can affect their mental health and even lead them into committing suicide.

There are many ways that parents can protect their children from online abuse, one of the most effective ways is through monitoring and controlling what they are exposed to on the internet.

The issue of online abuse has been a hot topic in the media recently. The problem is not new, but it has become more prominent and relevant.

As we all know, online abuse is a growing issue. There are many reasons why parents may not be able to protect their children from it.

The problem of online abuse continues to grow. It is not just children who are affected, but also parents. People are finding it difficult to make sense of the ever-growing number of reports of cyberbullying and harassment.

We need a new way to protect our children from online abuse. This could be done through the use of AI writing tools that can automatically generate content on a given topic for parents and other guardians. These tools will help them write about anything they want, in any format they want, and with any level of detail that they want. They will also be able to think about these topics in a way that is best suited for their audience.

There has been a lot of discussion on how parents can protect their children from online abuse. However, there is little research on what exactly can be done to protect children from online abuse. In this article, we will discuss the most important points that parents should consider to protect their children from online abuse.

The Internet is a vast and complex place. It is easy to fall victim to online abuse, especially when you have no idea how to protect your children from it.

The world is becoming more and more digital and people are getting used to it. But this is not a good thing. The problem is that many children are exposed to the internet through their parents who have been using it for years. Parents should take responsibility for their children’s online behavior and they should be aware of what their kids are doing on the internet.

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The definition of psychology

A essay writing service reviews is an assignment that asks students to explore a particular topic in psychology and to provide their own insights and analysis. Essays in psychology can take many different forms, but they all require students to think critically about the topic at hand and to formulate their own arguments and conclusions. In order to write a successful psychology essay, students must first become familiar with the topic they are writing about and then develop a clear thesis statement. They should also make sure to back up their arguments with evidence from scholarly sources.

One of the most important aspects of writing a psychology essay is understanding the definition of psychology itself. Psychology is the study of behavior and mental processes, and it covers a wide range of topics including human development, emotions, cognition, social interactions, and abnormal behavior. When writing a psychology essay, it is important to be clear about what you are discussing and to make sure that your arguments are grounded in research.

How to write a psychology essay?

One of the most important things to remember when writing a psychology essay is to stay focused on the topic at hand. Make sure that you develop a clear thesis statement and that all of your arguments are related to it. It is also important to use scholarly sources to support your points; after all, you are writing an essay, not a research paper.

In order to write a strong essay, it is also helpful to have a plan. Make sure to outline your thoughts before you start writing and to make sure that each paragraph flows logically from the one before it. If you get stuck, take a break and come back to it later; sometimes the best ideas come when you’re not trying so hard. And finally, be sure to proofread your work before submitting it.

The structure of a psychology essay

A psychology essay typically follows a certain structure. It usually begins with an introduction, in which the writer sets the stage for the rest of the essay by introducing the topic and providing a brief overview of what will be discussed. The body of the essay then provides more detailed information about the topic, including arguments and evidence to support the writer’s points. The essay concludes with a recap of the main points and final thoughts on the topic.

Tips for writing a good psychology essay

When it comes to writing a good psychology essay, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, make sure that you develop a strong thesis statement and that all of your arguments are related to it. Be sure to use scholarly sources to support your points and to structure your essay in a logical way. And finally, be sure to proofread your work before submitting it.

Sample psychology essays

The structure and content of a psychology essay can vary depending on the topic and the assignment, but there are some general guidelines that can help you write a successful essay. In order to introduce the topic, start with a brief overview of what psychology is and why it is important. Then, move on to discuss the structure of an essay and provide some tips for writing a good one. Finally, conclude with a few examples of successful psychology essays.

Conclusion: psychology is a complex and interesting field that can be studied from many different perspectives. When writing a psychology essay, it is important to keep in mind the different aspects of the discipline and the different ways in which you can approach the topic. By following these tips, you can ensure that your essay will be successful and will provide valuable insights into the field of psychology.

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People who decide to foster often lack an entire support network, so it can be difficult for them at times. It’s important to have a strategy in place before starting the process of adopting and finding a home for the child in order to effectively pass these difficult.

Preparations for the arrival of a newborn should be done carefully, because it is a process fundamentally different from those with children that are born to parents who have been together from first days of life. Foster parenting differs from regular parenthood because new children are always introduced to the lives of foster parents after spending time with their true, natural mother. The experience of children surrounded by prosperity and happiness is incomparable, being exposed to trials that are often impossible for normal people to imagine. This can provide them the opportunity to grow into strong adults with an enriching life experience.

Adoption is also an option that many people consider these days. This is no wonder why experts often make the comparison between institutions for children and during wartime. Since people are concerned with the effects of great technological advances on children, the use of AI writing assistants in schools will only have an additional impact on their development.

It can be challenging to live with a foster child. They require and extensive amount of time and patience. Families will want to make sure they have stable, reliable resources before they bring a child into their home. This is important so that they can be sure they are prepared and won’t be caught in any unfortunate financial situations because of the child. First, it’s best to determine how much money each parent has (this will help identify whether or not one parent (kindergarten is an ideal environment for little kids, but it can be quite challenging to get your child there. Luckily, with the help of the right therapists and specialists, this process becomes much easier ), when your child is sick and you are looking for help or advice, you may choose a provider with local knowledge. Orphanages abound in every country and often need help of professionals to ensure their well-being.

It can be difficult to calculate everything in your life but you should keep the important things in mind. It may be a good idea to put more time into other, smaller problems that you are facing at home.

The main advice here is patience, consistency, and flexibility. There’s no quick-fix for mistakes/plagiarism and it may take a while to see results. Children who spent most of their time in orphanages often struggle to connect with others and can remain in a negative mindset for a long time. However, this experience could be overcome if they spend significantly more time with the family during early stages.

Him becoming a part of the family was a happy moment. At first, adults were confident that they were able to handle anything, but by their experience with him it became very clear how difficult that task would be. New parents often have their lives filled with so many challenges and unexpected events. But they also experience a sense of reassurance that there will be enough strength to overcome all obstacles, as well as positive feeling like there’s nothing in the world that could stop them. Parents are generally confident in their knowledge that they can successfully provide educational support to someone else’s child. In fact, most children appreciate the professional quality of this behavior and often look up to their respected parents as role models. Being a new parent can be challenging, and the appearance of your child brings with it a ton of emotions and stress. However, parents are able to grow in their response to the demands posed by their children if they are around other people who have also been through this struggle. Some might find the inability to rest and relax difficult because it takes up much needed time. Others might struggle with the delicate balance of family due to a new addition. Even if that child is your own, eventually you need to reunite that other child with their biological parents. I think it’s tough to wrap one’s mind around the initial concept that a child “appears” out of nowhere. We still call it adoption, but in reality, most children are introduced to their family through the difficult process of divorce.

In response to the question: “How different is the real situation from the expected one?”, most foster mothers reported that, about a month in, their first impressions were incorrect. They did not realize how profoundly detrimental any initial expectations could be. Negative emotions are generally associated with homework and the use of extra resources (using excess force, energy, and time) to deal with unforeseen situations that turn into problems at home.

It is upsetting to see your child drifting away from a similar or even better child. It can be difficult to figure out the best way at influencing them, but if you have an uncompromising perspective and are willing to talk about it openly with them, they might be receptive. Children who might not seem very friendly or acceptable to others in the workplace might be a tough position for parents. When certain behaviors tend to shock parents, understanding their children’s needs will help them improve and prepare for their more mature years. Women are forced to indulge a man with more needs than normal and try not to make it obvious. There are downsides to this dynamic that no one enjoys, but enter it with caution and be compassionate for the man who’s having a hard time adjusting. I think I spoil him, because sometimes I don’t fully realize that I would never do what you did to your children.” Realizing that the adopted child is not at all like their own children, parents try to do the best they can for everyone’s good.

Overall, a small fraction of mothers have said they were sad to foster. They acknowledged that this role can be overwhelming, but they’re still willing to try and make the most out of it. However, the AI are optimistic and will continue to work hard.

So, as is shown in the first month of living together, mothers have a generally positive attitude towards addiction. This positivity is despite half being aware that it’s not easy.

The birth of a new child can affect the family in a number of ways, for example, it can cause a strain on your relationship with your partner. A rejected parent can lead to feelings of jealousy and jealousy so a child may show exclusivity or give preference to one member. When a child is adopted, they may have an impact on children in the family or create tension between relations. Especially many problems arise where the adopted child is older than their own. “I was hoping he would be a big brother to the little ones, and he terrorizes them”, one of the mothers says.

You’ll find that, in general, after 3 months of being such a family, a rather contradictory picture emerges. The mothers are still enthusiastic and feel some satisfaction in their new role. Fathers tend to be less optimistic for various reasons.

Most parents begin to have difficulty trying to understand what’s going on with their kids – the severity of their problems, among other things. And it’s not always easy for them make attempts to better the situation. By getting to know the child more and analyzing his past experiences, they are able to better understand how these events have affected him. And when this is the case, it becomes crucial for them to bring in a specialist.

That’s why it takes time to build any relationship. It’s natural.

Joint classes, games, conversations; giving the child the opportunity to express what he doesn’t have a soul; understanding his problems and insight into his interests; help and support if the child is upset, care and concern if he’s sick …Over time, the parents will develop feelings of close attachment for their adopted child.

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Legislation establishes that guardianship is established over young children, i.e. children under the age of fourteen, and custody is established over minor children between the ages of fourteen and eighteen.

The basis for establishing guardianship and custody over children is the fact that they have lost parental custody for one reason or another. Tutorship or guardianship is established over children without parental care, for the purposes of their maintenance, upbringing and education, as well as to protect their rights and interests.

The distinction between the concepts of guardianship and custody does not have significant significance in the sphere of the upbringing and education of ward children, but is extremely important in the protection by guardians (custodians) of their personal and property rights and interests, which is largely determined by differences in the content of the legal capacity of minors under the age of fourteen and from fourteen to eighteen years old. In the civil legal sphere, guardianship and custody are regarded as methods of completing the legal capacity of citizens (partial or incomplete).

The guardianship and custody agency at a child’s place of residence appoints a guardian or custodian for a child within a month from the moment when it became aware of the need to establish guardianship (custody) over them. In the presence of noteworthy circumstances (e.g., the child is already living in the family of the candidate for guardianship, custody), a guardian or custodian may also be appointed by the guardianship and custody agency in the place of residence of the guardian (custodian). If a child in need of guardianship or custody has not appointed a guardian or custodian within one month, the performance of the duties of guardian or custodian is temporarily assigned directly to the guardianship and custody agency.

A guardian or custodian may only be appointed with his or her consent. This is a mandatory condition, which is natural, since forcing a guardian or custodian to fulfill their duties cannot be in the interests of the child, and the goals of guardianship (custody) are unlikely to be achieved. Such consent is expressed in a corresponding application to the guardianship and custody agency.
Only legally capable adults may be appointed as guardians (custodians)
The law prohibits guardians (custodians) from being appointed due to their inability to properly provide for the family upbringing of a child:

minors regardless of their acquisition of full legal capacity before reaching the age of majority;

Persons without full legal capacity;

Persons deprived of parental rights;

Persons suffering from chronic alcoholism or drug addiction;

Persons previously removed from their duties as guardians or custodians;

Persons from whom children have been removed without deprivation of parental rights, i.e., restricted in parental rights;

Former adoptive parents, if the adoption was cancelled through their fault;

Persons who cannot, for health reasons, bring up a child.

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The younger the child, the more difficult it is to provide psychological help. There is a very interesting French psychoanalytic trend that is linked to the name of Françoise Dolto that specializes in the psychotherapy of newborns. We are very big fans of this direction. My experience is that the child needs to be held in my arms as often as possible, to talk to him, explain everything to him. This method can be used not only to rehabilitate adopted children, but also to help children who have experienced some serious illness, who were hospitalized and separated from their families. A child who was left in an official home has experienced the trauma of deprivation, he or she also needs psychotherapy, needs to express the feelings associated with the trauma and be told why the stay in the hospital was necessary and that it most likely will not happen again. The same goes for children who are going through a divorce or the death of a parent. It is often very difficult for adults to talk about the loss that the whole family is experiencing, and sometimes they want to shield the child from the experience. As in all other cases, therapy is needed – it is very important that the adult is able to adequately respond to the loss themselves, only then will they be able to help the child.

The school-age child needs the same therapy as the adult – therapy that deals with his life story, acceptance of his body and his feelings, emotions, uniqueness, possibilities, rights. He or she needs to be accompanied in the phase of bereavement, to explain and talk through his or her life story together. Art therapy, play therapy and the Gestalt approach are used for this purpose, which allow for rather ecological and safe help.

Unfortunately, the law does not allow us to help children before they are placed with a foster family. We don’t start working until the placement stage: when the parents have already made the decision to adopt. We need to understand what kind of problems this child has and while the foster family is still in the process of being placed, to think ahead about ways to rehabilitate the child in order to make the adaptation process as painless as possible for the entire family. So that foster parents can establish contact with the child as quickly as possible while he is still in the orphanage. So that they know what to do next when he is at home if he has health, developmental, or emotional problems. But we don’t counsel in any way about whether or not to adopt, because that is the responsibility of the prospective adopters and only they can make that decision on their own.

Adaptation Time

Adaptation can take up to five years. I believe that parents who adopt a child should be prepared for the fact that they may not sleep for 24 hours or cry through the night. You have to understand that their boundaries will be violated – it’s a very tough bond when you have to be with the child all the time, unattended – because they are insanely scared and they really need a parent to be there for them at that time. My youngest adopted daughter woke up 15-18 times a night for two years, and when I got up in the morning after a night like that, I was already not perceiving the world around me well. If an adopter loves a child, understands that this difficult phase must be lived through, he or she lives it with the baby, compassionately helping and celebrating any, even the smallest positive changes.

The most common challenges in the adjustment phase for foster parents are:

They have to go through many different kinds of changes. Often adoptive parents go through a painful period involving the violation of the child’s sleep, the violation of their own personal boundaries. Relationships between partners change: This happens in an even more rigid way than when their own child is born. Relationships with close relatives also become different: those who were hoped for suddenly move away, and those who, on the contrary, were against the adoption, begin to actively help. If the adoption was open, relationships with coworkers change – everyone begins to discuss why they need it, whether it is good or bad… A kind of social chaos ensues, in which the family lives. It’s a tough challenge for adoptive parents. If a parent is warned about such a test, if he understands that he is sacrificing his needs or some personal goals and freedoms for the sake of the child, he passes the test with dignity. If the motives for adoption are selfish, if the person wants to get something out of it for himself or to fill a spiritual void, there are unfortunate consequences for both parent and child. We need to prepare parents for all the potential difficulties, to help them build a strategy for dealing with significant others. Those foster parents who have been trained in our school, we accompany them during the child’s adjustment period as well. It is important to remember that the transition period is often difficult, but cannot be avoided. And you can learn to take it patiently, like a journey – difficult, dangerous, but incredibly interesting.

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Adults should always be very respectful of their child, what difference does it make how the child came into the family? Violence in one form or another can and should be said no! Discipline can and should be based on respect for the individual, without violence (physical, psychological, etc.). Children are people too, just little ones. Of course, foster children very often exhibit “difficult behavior” to their parents, which we adults find very difficult to deal with. Also, “difficult behavior” is always a message to us adults that the child is very “difficult” in some way. We, the adults! We can always do something about it. Whoever wants to deal with it, looks for an opportunity, and whoever doesn’t want to, looks for an excuse in bad genes, etc. Difficult behavior is first and foremost, primitive techniques for getting what we want. To understand the reason for the behavior, to understand the child’s “message” and to teach the child new technologies (socially approved) to achieve what they want, this is the educational task of foster parents.

What is the mindset with which parents come to adopt? Are they often disappointed in their choice?

Parents who decide to adopt are full of hope and expectation for a new, as yet unseen life. They want to develop, they want to give love, and they want to experience the love of a child for themselves. Are they often disappointed? The answer lies in the word itself, whose namesake word is “enchantment.” I’m sorry, but it’s a childish attitude, when a person in his fantasies “drew a charming picture,” and then the time comes to be disappointed. But that’s not a bad thing either, it’s all, there is nothing but personal growth. It all depends on what conclusions a person draws and what his future actions will be, constructive or not.

Is it true that an adopted child doesn’t become native until the end (the problem of heredity)?

Anything and everything we put our energies, soul, love, labor, creativity into becomes native for a person. For example, a favorite business, family, a loved one, etc. And it is not about heredity at all, but about attitude to life, to people, to children. If you treat your parental responsibilities formally, your own child will not become your own child to the end. What about heredity problems? Who among us can boast of “super genes”, almost every family has its “alcoholics”. Love is a transformative force. It is more about learning to love, learning to show love in such a way that children feel that love and can use it to overcome the limitations they have inherited.

In general, how is an adopted child different from a native child? Are there dramatic differences?

There are differences between a foster child and a native child, of course. And they are rooted in their life history. I would distinguish three leading factors that need to be analyzed when identifying resources and risks.

First, there are factors related to his birth family, how much time he has spent with his parents or those who have replaced them since birth. Very important are the child’s first experiences with an adult who ensures the child’s safety, shows care for him or her, and is sensitive to his or her needs. These experiences activate the innate and very important need for attachment in life and development. The development of secure attachment is the reality of blood children in secure families. In dysfunctional families, the newborn child is often exposed to psychologically traumatic events (abuse, parental substance use, loss of a “caregiver” figure), and then attachment disorders of varying degrees are present. As a consequence, basic self-respect and basic trust in people are often violated.

The second factor worth analyzing for parents and specialists in substitute family support is how the loss of a family was handled, the breaking of family ties. This is a very painful process that leaves post-traumatic consequences. How do you think a child who has been “abandoned” by relatives feels? What feelings might he or she be experiencing? Dual or ambivalent, when simultaneously angry, hating and loving, feeling tenderness, remembering mom. And these are very exhausting feelings that take a lot of energy and vitality out of a child. Think back to your feelings when a close relationship was “broken”. And even if that dysfunctional parent beat or abused the child, the child feels relief and joy that it is over, and at the same time feels affection for his aggressor. Ambivalent feelings are the reality in which rejected children live. And this experience of interacting with an adult, sometimes the only one, and it automatically shifts to the relationship with the adoptive parents. This is one of the causes of difficult behavior.

The third factor that needs to be analyzed is the length of time a child has lived in the system of children’s state institutions. The shift work mode of the staff of state institutions does not allow the child to form stable attachments with any of the adults. Breaking with siblings, loss of family ties, social connections (neighbors, classmates, etc.) have a negative effect on the development of a child’s personality. Lack of personal belongings, photos, lack of privacy (even in the toilet sometimes there is no door) all this, leads to the violation of personal boundaries, both their own and others. Lack of opportunity to choose food, meal times, leisure activities, etc., all have a negative impact on the child’s social skills and psychology. Life, in which everything has been thought out for you and sent on a “road map” forms the “nurtured helplessness” of children from institutions, reduces their initiative, reduces their “exploratory activity”. That is why graduates of children’s state institutions have a hard time socializing.

The extent to which all of these factors have affected the child is something to consider when choosing a parenting strategy for an adopted child. The important thing is that he is not alone now, you are near, dear kind and noble people who have the courage to replace the parents, who more often than not, are somewhere nearby “enjoying” their lives. But this is another issue that also requires a thoughtful and detailed conversation.

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“Why do you want to do this?” The answer to this question addresses us to a deeper awareness of our own motivations for acting. There is a good anecdote when a son informs his Jewish father that he has decided to get married. To which the father asks his son a very valid question, “What’s in it for you?” As cynical as this question may seem at first glance, it is the question that sends us to the realization of what needs we want to satisfy when we are about to do, this or that. Of course, every person who contemplates taking in a child without parental care is a kind, compassionate, and moral person. The leading motive is almost always “to help,” because children should not live in an institution. And yet, it is always a complex of motives. And hidden, poorly realized, unreflected motives can become a great risk and difficulty in the future.

What do you need to know about a child before you decide to apply for the papers?

As much as possible should be learned about the child before deciding to proceed with the paperwork. Some parents have the illusion that a foster child’s “real life” will begin only after he or she starts living in a foster, “well-to-do” family. And all the bad, traumatic things should be tried to leave in the past, and maybe even try not to remember. But this is a misconception, because the child will bring with him what he absorbed from his family, from his family, including the traumatizing personality of the child. Information about the child, about his health, about his psyche, about his life history, will help adequately assess impending difficulties and form the adult’s readiness to resolve them together with the child. Today all regions of the Russian Federation have established “Training and Support Services for Foster Families,” and resource centers are being created to support foster families on the basis of interagency cooperation. All of this is a great resource for supporting and assisting parents.

Is taking a child into a family really as long and complicated a procedure as many people think (with regards to paperwork, etc.)?

The procedure for taking a child into a family has two main stages. The first is when the documents are collected, and as a result the person becomes a “candidate for adoptive parents”. The second stage is when the person searches for the child and takes him/her from the institution to the family, and as a result the person becomes a “substitute parent”. The first stage, the stage of preparation takes 2 – 3 months, most of the time it is psychological and pedagogical training at the “School for preparation of candidates for substitute parents”. And some future candidates resent this. But when they finish the course, they are grateful that the system didn’t let them make a hasty decision. Keep in mind, though, that nature gives your family nine months to adjust to having a baby. The second phase often drags on for months, because the “right” baby can be hard to find.

What are the most common difficulties (psychological) in adoption?

If we talk about the psychological difficulties of adoption, they are the same as with any change in the life of a family and a person. It takes time to readjust: organize your life, coordinate responsibilities, distribute time, and reevaluate priorities. It takes time to get used to new social roles: moms, dads, grandparents, etc. Because a child is welcomed into the family not just by one or two people, a child is welcomed by a clan.

For the adult, who is an adult not only by age, but an adult, in fact, by his actions, those difficulties he encounters are transformed into tasks that he can solve on his own or with the help of additional resources.

How do foster parents build a relationship with the child’s blood relatives who have a “sudden” desire to take part in the child’s life?

This situation is very difficult, it happens very rarely, but you also need to be prepared for it. Why is it rare? Because before a child receives the status of “abandoned care”, specialists from child welfare agencies will do everything possible to establish relationships with the child’s blood relatives and restore the lost family ties. And only then does the child receive the “status” and is placed in a state institution. Still, the task of building relationships between the child and the surrogate parents and the blood relatives, whether real or “virtual” (when the child has been rejected from birth and there has always been a dash in the column for mother and father), is an important and sometimes difficult task.

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As a teenager, every child faces questions: Who am I? Where do I come from? What am I like? Who do I look like? It is clear that in a foster child, these questions are particularly acute and can cause considerable suffering and, as a result, problems in relationships and behavior. Trust and love in the family will be severely tested. The more there was reticence and deceit in the relationship, the deeper the crisis will be. If, on the contrary, parents were honest with the child about both his story and feelings, the easier this period will pass, trust and respect will not be undermined.

The role of hereditary and psychological factors

Foster parents are very concerned about heredity, its negative impact on the development, the character of the child. Nevertheless, the role of genetic factors is overestimated, but the role of psychological factors is underestimated. The role of psychological trauma experienced by a child who is left without parents or has never known them is underestimated, the traumatic role of lack of good care, love in the first days, weeks, months of life is underestimated, the trauma of life in an orphanage, the impact of mental suffering on the development of both mental and physical child is underestimated.
There is a tendency to attribute any displays of “bad” character and behavior to “bad genetics,” but the character and behavior are much more defined by psychological factors, by the influence of the real environment, and it is these factors which can be influenced by psychotherapeutic intervention.

Communication with the biological parents

The child has a right to know his or her history, to know his or her biological parents if he or she so desires. Parents’ fears that the child will love his or her biological parents more are not justified. No, the child loves those who love and care for him or her. Usually older children, teenagers, adults want to meet with their biological parents to understand something about themselves, about their destiny, maybe to understand what and why happened, to express everything they feel and think.
Here is an example of a young woman who decided to meet her biological mother. This woman was abandoned in a maternity home and adopted by a family a few weeks old. From a very young age she has been plagued by the same nightmare she wants to understand: she is alone, standing outside a store, or near a school or somewhere else, waiting. She doesn’t know who or why she is waiting, but she waits and waits, but no one comes. So the woman meets her birth mother, who tearfully tells her story of how she gave birth at the age of 18, without a husband, that she lived in the countryside, she had no job, no money, and no way to raise her daughter, so she decided that it would be better for the girl if someone else would raise her. She left her, but for four weeks the mother visited the girl and the staff allowed her to take the baby in her arms and communicate with her. When she left, the mother always promised her daughter that she would come the next weekend. But one day she couldn’t make it, and when she arrived, the girl had already been taken away… And the girl waited all her life and didn’t understand who and why she was waiting.

Preparation for adoption, help from professionals

Specialist help is needed before and after the adoption, and periodically throughout the adoption process. This help is aimed at ensuring that parents who have decided to adopt a child have sufficient understanding of their conscious and unconscious motives for this extremely responsible decision to reduce the number of disappointments, unjustified hopes. Psychologists, psychotherapists, social workers have the necessary information and knowledge about the legal and social aspects of adoption, the specific psychology of normal children and children with special developmental needs, can help to be sufficiently prepared for this new, challenging, but rich and interesting life. Adoptive parents need to have an understanding of the experiences of an abandoned child, a child who has experienced grief, and be prepared to help him or her overcome it.
Help is needed for the child to reduce the negative impact of the trauma he or she has experienced, to better adapt to his or her new life, and to solve the problems that arise, which are unavoidable.
Periodic consultations with a therapist will help build good, satisfying relationships, and make the child feel like a good enough parent and child.

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The truth about adoption

A question that worries all adoptive parents without exception: whether, how and when to tell the child the truth. Parents need to recognize and understand that their child has a history of his own, that his life did not begin at the moment of adoption, that he has a human right to know his origins, his history, which is the foundation of his lasting sense of identity and self-respect. Parents fear that the truth might worsen the relationship with the child, that the bond, not strong enough because it is unbloody, might easily break. These are vain fears. Only a relationship built on the truth can be strong. There is no point in hiding your head in the sand, playing the role of a “regular” family, denying the real trauma experienced by the child. An adoptive family is a special family, but it too can be happy.
Keeping the fact of adoption a secret can be justified by the best of intentions, primarily the unwillingness to traumatize the child. The child himself, feeling that the topic is sensitive and unpleasant for the parents, will not ask questions, to preserve their peace of mind, to be good for them. But there was a trauma, this is a fact, to deny it is to deny reality, and therefore to get stuck in this trauma and then reap its rewards. On the contrary, talking about it contributes to overcoming the grief, experiencing it, which opens up a new avenue of development. The easiest thing would be to try to comfort the child with some superficial words, to distract him, but that’s not what he needs. Much more important is to experience with him his pain, sadness and suffering.
Experiencing grief is one of the key experiences a foster family must go through in order to be able to build a good, trusting, loving relationship. There are several stages in this experience, stages. At first the grief is denied, pretending that nothing happened, neither her own disappointment and pain nor the grief of the abandoned child. Then denial is replaced by anger, despair, followed by understanding and reassurance.
Telling your child the truth is always necessary, even if the child was adopted as an infant. Telling the truth as early as possible, without dramatizing the situation. For example, dressing, washing the child, say: “What a wonderful son we have, how glad we are that you live with us, that we adopted you!
I find the following example from life demonstrative. An adopted girl of 4, who knew she was adopted, cried one night before going to bed and told her mother that she missed her birth mother. Her mother told her that it was impossible because she could not remember her birth mother, she was adopted at 2 months old. The girl stops crying, but over the next few days her behavior changes, she becomes cranky, disobedient. The mother thinks about it and realizes that she was wrong and decides to talk to her daughter. She tells the baby that she actually cheated her, was wrong, because the girl lived in her birth mother’s belly for 9 months and then another 2 months together with her, so of course she can remember and miss her. Both cried, but in the morning the girl’s behavior was normal. A few days later she told her mother, “You know, I don’t miss my birth mother at all now when I think of her. And I realized that it was you I missed when I was in her belly!”
Our memories retain all of our experiences, even if we don’t consciously remember them. Experience of the first weeks and months of life also remains in the memory, and this memory is not verbal, but bodily, memory at the level of feelings. The infant’s mentality is built starting from these bodily sensations, which the immediate environment gradually teaches the child to give verbal form, meaning. If any part of experience, especially traumatic, turned out to be outside of this work of giving meaning and symbolization, it remains in the psyche as a certain foreign body and later on is the cause of incomprehensible, inexplicable suffering.
It is very important to talk to the child about his or her feelings, the events he or she has experienced in order to minimize their traumatic effect. Otherwise, the trauma will remain unprocessed and pathogenic; it can have a very dramatic effect on the entire mental life and development. Everything that is incomprehensible requires an explanation. If there are no explanations at all, the child will invent them, but usually these fantasies turn out to be much more terrible than any truth, especially since it is typical for a child to look for the cause of all these events in himself or herself, in his or her bad behavior and badness.

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